I was raised to be fiercely independent. My community-based ethic evolved over time in my adulthood, as I received the same toxic messages of ‘competency means being able to do it alone’ and ‘if you want it done right, do it yourself’ that many got. I have moved away from that attitude as a base of action, having learned that cooperative and collective work is stronger, more creative, and more sustainable. But I still never want to be a burden, and want to be useful and helpful wherever I am.
It has been hard for me personally to learn the truth of something I’ve preached as true for years -that we give a gift of grace when we allow others to do things for us. I KNOW it’s true, that we all need help, and that insisting on doing something for ourselves actually takes an opportunity to assist and serve AWAY from someone.